Priorities, peak states and consuming frogs - the way of success!
Pump up the mental volume
What happens when you get up in the morning?
- Do you fling the sheets off you and shout “yessss! Another day is here to further my exciting and wonderful life!”
- Are you Lionel Richie in the shower before boogying on down the stairs to the strains of “Can’t Slow Down”?
- Might you shake the breakfast cereals like marrackers in time to the music and cha cha out of the door ready to “get it on” in a big way?
No? You don’t do that?
Well I have to say that I don’t start many days like that either … but what I found was that as I imagined doing it in my mind I felt really upbeat and happy to the point where I burst out laughing at my imagined self.
This is an example of creating a peak state that prepares you to be your best and give your best. And, for sure, once you’re in that state you will start to behave in a much more upbeat and resourceful way.
Let me tell you how little time I have … for 20 minutes.
In contrast I heard a shop manager (trainee) complaining bitterly to his line manager, over the phone;
“how am I supposed to manage on my own with paperwork that’s not my job to do and people complaining that the paperwork I’ve done is wrong and it’s doin’ me ’ead in – I mean I don’t mean to complain but nobody’s listening and I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall …I can’t do two people’s jobs, it’s not fair …” !
If you perceive that you have too much to do is it good strategy to spend 20 minutes on the phone explaining to your manager how little time you have?
Everybody sing with me …
As he finished his call I saw his face, his physiology and his general demeanour … sink; and then I thought of the song “Things can only get better” – with that I leapt over the counter and began to sing to him whilst shaking my purchases in time to the beat (not unlike the Halifax advert). Ok you know I didn’t do that but it felt good thinking about doing it – it put me in a resourceful state!
My first priority is being right about how much things are “doin’ me ’ead in!”
He really reminded me of myself in my stressed up old days.
“You did this to me and I’m going to scream and shout until I get treated fairly”.
The problem as I remember it is that once you are in that kind of mindset you are unwilling to let people help you even if they offer; “it’s too late now”, “what’s the point of doing that …” etc. The priority becomes “we have to be right – it is hopeless and this is the only way to feel about it.”
We make ourselves become more and more distant from the help and solutions that really are there.
Permission to panic Mr Mainwaring?!
It’s interesting isn’t it that when we most need to be extra resourceful we shut ourselves off from our best responses. We create the kind of states that are the opposite of what we really need. When our trainee manager had filled his head with negative thoughts (and his line manager’s head for that matter) he had well and truly donned the victim teeshirt! He was now at his least resourceful place for handling his perceived plight. If he had been humming “When the going gets tough the tough get going” and imagining himself cha cha-ing around the store wiggling his butt and pumping his arms who knows what he might have got done.
Cancel your trip to Trivia City
When we look at really successful and effective people they have certain common characteristics:
- they have mind/body states of excellence (different ones for different situations)
- they have very clear and specific goals which are written down and broken down into doable chunks and then put at the top of their agenda every day
- they have clear strategies for keeping non important stuff from getting in the way of their chosen priorities
- they know the good feelings they’ll have on completing their work far outweigh the short term pleasures of “Trivia City”
- they have a vision of the completed project which they hold in their minds to keep themselves on track and motivated
- they stay open to possibilities, miracles and their own brilliance for getting things done.
We’re under attack! Company … file your nails
There is a real art these days to prioritising – so many things are coming at us that appear urgent and unavoidable yet...if we really want to achieve clear and specific things we have to make decisions about what they are and put them first.
Stephen Covey talks about WIGs “wildly important goals” – they stand head and shoulders above everything else. They have to be worked out in detail so that there is no doubt, no ambiguity of any kind that these are the things we’re going for. Every day first things first.
As Brian Tracy (motivational speaker and author) says “everyday eat that frog (frog = key task you’re avoiding) … and if you have two frogs eat the ugliest one first”.
How much of the vital time of our lives do we waste because we aren’t ready yet? We are not planned; we are not clear about our true priorities; we are not motivated to start shaking and grooving towards our dreams … We think that we’ll get there one day because we’re going to live till we’re a thousand aren’t we? When my dad died he left a drawer full of “going to dos” because time ran out on him way before he’d planned.
Become dependent on the state
Brian Tracy assumes we all have the motivation already pumped up for doing this. My experience is that whilst people may see the value of “eating their ugliest frog” first thing every day the reality is that unless we feel like doing it - it ain’t happening. So the most key priority of all is “pump up your volume everyday” – create the “can do” mind/body state using mental images, sounds, silly/exciting scenarios, move your body and wait for the good feelings to follow. Believe it they will. Everything we do is state driven so become a dependent of the state in the best possible sense.
Believe you are a willow and bend with the wind
Why do so many of us just amble about getting sidetracked and thwarted in our dreams? Perhaps we’ve decided at some level that we don’t deserve success or can’t achieve it from where we are. This brings me to the really crucial subject of beliefs. What we believe becomes our reality and drives our behaviour. I asked some of my NLP clients to keep stepping back so that they could see their lives from enough distance to figure out what they really believed. Many didn’t realize they were holding beliefs that made sure that nothing changed for them. They wanted and wished but never acted on their desires. They were conditioned to believe that they and their lives couldn’t be extraordinary or special. When they realized that their own beliefs were killing their dreams they were able to start the process of belief change.
There’s a joke that someone e mailed me recently; “message from dating agency: your ad has been running for 19 weeks without response; what if we run it for one week without the photo?” If something’s not working do something different!!!
Non stick Can do
The thing about successful people is that they have a very Teflon sort of self image. They don’t dwell on stuff that hasn’t worked they note it and move on. To mix the metaphor if they were a tin can they would be knocking out the dents as they went. Their ability to function is not seriously impaired. People who haven’t learned to do that end up very crushed little cans indeed (or fairly encrusted frying pans if you prefer). This ability rests on how they manage their state when dents happen. They can get back to their chosen priorities quickly and find their best resources consistently.
If you decide to pump up your volume every morning (manage your state) first thing, you will have far less trouble eating the ugliest of frogs … you can be your best much more often.
Now sing with me “and now the end is near and so I face the final curtain … “no I’m sorry I can’t shake my marrackers to that, let’s try La Bamba … although I may have to change these trousers … how are we doing on noisy cereals?