The Language of Champions

 

Think of the word “champion” for a minute and reflect on what it means for you – what idea, image, sound or feeling does it bring into your mind? Now put it away and read on …

 

I’ve got the power

Within this small article lies very big change for those who would put their attention on it for at least 30 consecutive days – the time it takes to create a new habit. 

If you truly understand, and practice, the real power of language, you will be able to positively influence, or even transform, any situation you find yourself in. 
Carefully chosen words have the power to change people’s minds, neutralise anger, calm people down, settle arguments, inspire, rally to the cause, motivate … and, of course, sell you things you don’t really need.

 

 

The inner coach

And … language isn’t just about speaking out loud to others – it’s also your internal communication code to yourself. You are speaking to yourself all day long and that dialogue is driving how you feel, your decisions, your actions and your relationships. It is the ultimate bossy, backseat driver! But it could just as easily be the ultimate support and coach. At anytime you can make the choice to evict the negative tenant and install your coach. This is almost certainly why Tim Henman never wins Wimbledon – the inner coach goes awol at the critical times (check out “The Inner Game of Tennis” by Timothy Gallwey)

As always, in these articles, I am speaking to you with my NLP hat on which means we are talking about creating more awareness, flexibility and choices in life.

 

Words are thoughts expressed

“But surely words are just words” I hear you say. “Oh no they aren’t” you hear me say. And here is the big, $64000, compelling, exciting and life changing reason – words are thoughts expressed. You reveal your thinking with your words and as you change your choice of words your thoughts change too. Simple really! What you think about expands and your language is part of that expansion.

 

Beware the word becomes the thought

Here’s an example:

 

If you decide to label your experience with words like “livid”, “enraged” or “totally devastated” you will be expressing (and having) thoughts that immediately turn into matching feelings.

 

People who are enraged have given over all their attention to full on enragement. They are not looking for solutions or resolutions – they are looking for metaphorical “necks to wring” However if you were to chose words like “a bit annoyed”, “a little peeved” or even “c’est la vie” you would be expressing thoughts that provide a quite different perspective – thoughts that will quickly move you back to control, calm and even humour.

 

Who’s your champion?

Did you do the little exercise at the beginning of the article? What kind of champion did your mind present you with? Many will immediately conjure up some kind of physically powerful victor; an image of a big sweaty Hercules holding a club; a footballer holding a trophy; a boxer, arms aloft, with his foot on an opponent; a horse crossing the finishing line; this is an example of how powerful language is; with one word you have an idea, an image in your head and feelings about it.

 

The power of a “charged” word

There are many “charged” words that will have an instant effect on our thoughts too; exam, terrorist, mother in law, failure, excellence, disaster, cowboy, stranger, friend, black, white and so on. The key thing to be aware of here is that language is often charged with meaning for us because of previous associations which we do not question.

 

Tame the unruly words

With awareness we can begin to relearn negatively charged words and give them a more useful, up to date, meaning. I, for instance, have given “champion” a new meaning for me – “someone who always intends to add positive value and enable others to win too.”

What about excellence? I now define it as “giving my very best to execute and complete a task.” And failure? “The only way to learn.”

 

The feeler gauge

The best possible measure of what language is doing to you is “how do you feel?” Try a little test right now; think of some experience you’ve had recently that was not all you’d hoped for; now imagine being “absolutely enraged and disgusted” about it, then consider being “just a little peeved.” What are the feelings that go with each?

 

Exterminate! No motivate!

Consider these words of intended motivation (but actually just an expression of irritation);

 

“come on get your finger out we haven’t got all day”

 

as opposed to these words of motivation;

 

“Diana – I’m so glad we’ve got you on the case; how are you doing – you are going to feel so great when you’ve put a full stop on this one!”

 

If motivation is what you intend then that is what your words should convey. If you feel irritated then express that if you must but don’t expect to motivate anyone (even better stay silent and work on a more constructive mood; words, thoughts, feelings). Of course, it’s best to call people Diana only if that’s their actual name …

And, for those of you with kids, think about the effect that your words have on them. Think about the words that you heard from the “sensible adults” of your own childhood. I can remember scoring my first goal ever for the school team; I must have been about 12. I turned away, raised my hands in the air with a big smile after scoring and felt elated – until I heard the cynical sports master utter the empowering words “alright McPherson it’s not the bloody cup final!”. Deflation and embarrassment ensued along with the message – it’s not OK to show genuine pleasure and excitement (a message I dumped long ago, by the way).

 

Get out of my head right now!

“This is all very well but get to the point McPherson? You’ll never amount to anything if you waffle on like this!”  “Well sir … just a minute I don’t have to justify myself to you – you’re in my head … and you can leave right now!” Coach! Show him off the premises and then take that seat just beside my left ear.” “OK Ian, coach speaking, so what would be a great way to complete this article, to give maximum value to readers?” “Well I think I want to give some specific focus points that people can use to create new, positive language habits.”

1. The language you use reflects current thoughts and drives more of the same. If you change your words you will redirect your thinking. Take10 minutes or so each day to become aware of how language is affecting you. Do it by catching your own internal voice, listening to others and observing the effect of your words on others.
2. Use your feelings as an accurate gauge for how language is affecting you.
3. Be aware of how some words can have a “negative charge” attached to them. Any that have can be “reframed” by consciously attaching a new and positive meaning to them. Remember, too, that there will also be words that are “positively charged” for you – make a note to use them much more (some of mine are “connection”, “rapture”, “abundant”, “passion”, “unconditional”, “encouragement”.) Why not collect your own?
4. Be aware of how words spoken from irritation, disappointment or apathy can affect people (children in particular). Develop your skills in noticing where you are, holding onto your words, and then delivering your message after attitude (and language) adjustment.
5. If you’ve caught words and phrases from others check your feelings about them and dump any that don’t work for you. Equally, enjoy adding to your range with great words and phrases that come your way (especially ones that clearly are creating good feelings for you)
6. If you’ve been used to replying to enquiries about your current state of health with “surviving”, “keeping my head above water”, “not too bad” and “ getting there” it’s time to respond with new words and new thoughts – “I’m champion” could be a good start …

 Remember - 30 days for a new habit to bed in.