Conflict - the big ego trip!

Change your mindset and you will extinguish much of the conflict.

There are very few times when conflict is thrust upon us without any input from us; it may happen occasionally. Even then our response will make all the difference to where things go next.

So when we are experiencing conflict we always have choices. Whenever there is conflict there is also

1. fear
2. ignorance
3. misunderstanding and
4. ego*.

Ego* - the part of us that creates conflict and fear because it thinks it's alone and disconnected from everyone else. It has to be right. Our ego is our learned “conditioned” self – the one that thrives on negatives, self bashing and reinforcing “me against the world.” It lashes out at others and it tears into us too. It is never at peace and always has a list of “things I must have before I can be happy.” It is deluded and crazy and locked into more of the same. The more we can become aware of the ego's effect the more we are able to choose peace over pain. Next time you feel conflict emotions in your body become aware of what the ego mind is doing – then change your thoughts!

Remember in NLP the focus is always on “what do I really want here?” You can add “what do I need right now?” Or “what would it be like if I let go of my need to be right?”

An introduction to the principles of NLP is like noticing a door in what once seemed like a solid wall and gently pushing it open. The door opens out onto a world of possibility. Your old world is never the same again; all the old solid stone certainties become like balloons floating on strings waiting to be set loose.
Most people, even highly educated ones, live their lives with all their solid stone certainties rigidly in place.

NLP frees you from this oppressive “reality” and allows you to respond to any circumstances with the mind of a hero ... not a victim.

If you follow a very simple NLP formula for success you can achieve whatever you are prepared to set your intention on for long enough. There are lots of distractions, choices and possibilities pouring into your awareness much of the time. It’s your choice whether we allow our focus and energy to be pulled this way and that leading us to minimal achievement and maximum frustration.

You can decide to become a focussed, disciplined person with confidence, self belief, passion and commitment if you spend a little time, regularly, to build mental habits that will serve your real best interests..

Let me present this formula to you in a nutshell.

1. Develop the habit of self awareness – notice your experience (what works, what doesn’t work - in terms of what you want).
2. Decide what you want – think in outcomes. Make them compelling and motivating – use your senses (hear, see, feel your goals).
3. Get multiple perspectives – move away from your habitually created “meanings” and generate new and much more useful mental frames (a reframe in NLP jargon).
4. Access your resources – your internal states are generated by your thoughts/ language, and physiology.
5. Take action.
6. Assess your results in terms of worked/didn’t work (i.e. get feedback).
7. Take more action. Repeat 5. and 6.

NLP Therapy

Therapy – therapeutic intervention. NLP uses many forms of intervention to literally “change your mind”. Therapy can be used very effectively alongside coaching (the two are quite different disciplines).
As an example, with a therapeutic intervention we can take a negative “unresourceful” feeling and trace it back to it's earliest point in your experience. Then we change your mind's relationship to that event by giving you new and positive mental resources. The past as not changed but in your mind everything is different - because your brain now believes it is.

With therapy you can strengthen your self image, set new boundaries for yourself or build a key resource to free yourself from old mental oppressions.